so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
