She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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