I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
