it wasn't lemon gatorade
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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