I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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