Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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