Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
