one two three fourrrrnication!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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