I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
