I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize