Just fell off a train. Bad.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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