Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
