You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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