i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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