it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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