after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You had me at "let me see your balls"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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