Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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