My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Alive.
So much puke
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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