she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
wow bdsm is so cute
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