Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize