It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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