Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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