I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize