ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
