the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
