I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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