***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
