Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
