Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
