i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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