Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I think I just sharted jello shots
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