youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize