He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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