i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
