porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
