omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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