And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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