..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
