This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
