I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
