So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
