He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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