forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Everyone says I win the strip club
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
