he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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