You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize