i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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