Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
