She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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