four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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