that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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