Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize