so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize