Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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