I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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