They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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