At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
