Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize