i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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