You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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