"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
