Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Pants are for mortals
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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