He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
