yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
