Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
