when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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