So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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