i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
