There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
