Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
