maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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