im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize