I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
