Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
