being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
