he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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