dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize