I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
